The Sun Must Eventually Set
by skiestintedorange
Summary: Solas muses his continuing feelings for Rune and how he must end them,


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Dragon Age 3, the OC belongs to my sister.

 **A/N:** Dedicated to my sister and to cheer her up after this election.

Solas stared at the book in his hands, his eyes not seeing the words, their meaning lost to him. He was not interested in learning whatever this book held. No. He heard Rune talking to Dorian, worst of all, about him. Ever since their break up, he had avoided her as much as possible, unable to handle her sad look when she looked towards him. The way her black eyes instinctively widened and then how the sadness set in and how her cheeks would flush and she'd turn her head away, before hurrying off, undoubtedly to seek comfort from a friend.

It _hurt_.

It hurt more than he had imagined it would. Why had he gotten so involved with her? How could he have let her touch his heart so much, why did he let his guard down and let her snake her way in and learn so much about him? It made no sense. How could he have been such a fool? Love had not been part of his plan. It wasn't a possibility he had even thought of. Then he had met her, still he hadn't felt love, but interest. She was beautiful; white hair, black eyes, and dark skin. The way the skin around her eyes crinkled when she smiled, her smile brighter and more glorious than the rising sun.

At first it had just been flirting and then he had made the mistake of letting her kiss him. Then he made an even more fatal error, one he never would have foreseen.

He kissed her back, unable to resist her for the moment, too captivated by her. Her spirit, her _magic_ , her beauty, all of her. He couldn't handle it, wasn't sure what would happen if he continued. He might lose himself. He told her to wake up and then it was over or so he thought. He had not been prepared for her to continue her flirting with him, her playful tone, her smile that reminded him of the sun, too brilliant to look at.

Then he had kissed her once more, on her balcony, he had been such a fool to do so. But he hadn't been able to resist her any longer, too overcome by desire to touch her, kiss her. Desire he had never felt before. He had never really loved anyone in his youth. Oh, he had kissed a few women, men, had even slept with some of his friends. There had not been _this_ sort of emotion in those encounters, however.

He let her captivate him and he fell, fell, fell, like the spirit of Icarus, who had shown him his story in the fade. His mind was clouded and his plans put on hold as his love for Rune deepened and his fascination with her, the way she easily responded, sometimes jokingly, sometimes seriously to his stories. The way she listened intently, her eyes never leaving his face, the way she would reach over and take his hand. It had been awkward at first. He had never held a woman's hand this way, not romantically. He had been unsure of what to do, so he had stroked it, and Rune's smile deepened, her eyes softening. After that, things got easier. Too easier. He never should have kissed her in the fade.

He would not get with her, in a relationship, however, not until... not until Wisdom died. He still remembered it's cry. He shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. He would not think of that, nor what had followed with Rune. Too raw, too painful. He refocused his attention to what Rune was saying.

"... I don't know what went wrong. He told me the truth about my vallaslin. I asked him to remove them, he kissed me and said he was sorry for distracting me from my duty and that was it. I just can't believe it." Rune said quietly, her voice so sad, it made Solas's heart drop.

He heard Dorian move and he wondered if Dorian had put a hand on her back, to comfort her. He hoped so.

Unfortunately, he could not hear all of what he said, as he said it so low that all he heard was his final words. "You'll be alright, Rune, and if Solas hurts you again... well, I'll see to _that_."

He heard Rune laugh softly and despite the fact that the threat was aimed at him, he couldn't help but smile sadly. He opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder and saw that Dorian did have his hand on her back. He felt a flash of envy and scolded himself instantly. He had no right to feel jealous, he scolded himself, his face flushing slightly, he had left her and that was it. ( _Wasn't it?_ ) He realized that Rune was looking over her shoulder at him, a mingled look of surprise and longing on her face. Dorian was looking as well but his expression was less than friendly.

He turned back to his book, inhaled deeply, and stood up. He had to leave. Get out of here before he was tempted again. _It's for the best,_ he told himself as he left library, _this way I won't hurt her anymore and my plans can go on._ He walked to his room slowly, trying to force Rune's expression from his mind. He needed to think of what was to come, not her. How he would restore the world, even if it meant death for everyone. It would be worth it, justified, even. He needed to think of carrying it out, harden his heart, stop this damned vulnerability he had let fester upon meeting Rune. _Clean the wound and seal it shut_ , he thought. _This is what I need, but..._

It seemed he had a long ways to go.


End file.
